文档介绍：赵本山小品<功夫>演绎版
第一幕
赵本山：听说他----不当厨师，改防忽悠热线了，竟敢扬言再不上当受骗了，残酷的现实已直逼我心理防线了，今年我要不卖他点啥，承诺三年的话题我就没法跟观众兑现了。
赵本山：I heard that he opened a hot line in stead of be a cook. And he said that he would never be cheat again. If I can not sell him something this year, the promise I made to audience will not come true.
徒弟1：师傅，进去吧！
徒弟1: master,let's go.
赵：别着急，先拨个骚扰 。（打 ）通了。你好！
赵: Wait,let's me call him first. Hello!
范：你好！
Hello!
赵：请问您是范师傅吧？
Are you Cook fan?
范：你是哪位？
Who are you?
赵：我是……有一个问题想直接咨询您老一下。
I'm en...I have a question to ask you.
范：恩，你说。
OK. I'm listening.
赵：我家有一头老母猪啊，黑地白花的啊，早晨一起来打开家门以每小时80脉的速度向前疯跑，“哐砀”撞树上，死了！
I have a pig, she is black and white. Yesterday she open the door and ran at 80 kilometers per hour, “哐砀” she knock at the tree and dead.
范：撞死了？这头猪的视力是不是有问题呀？
Knock the tree to dead? There mast be something wrong with her eyesight.
赵：。
Both of Her eyesight is .
范：会不会有什么心理疾病啊?
Dose she has any illness with her heart?
赵：心理可健康呢!
She is very healthy!
范：那怎么会撞死呢？
In this way, how can she knock the tree to dead?
赵：那头猪脑筋不会急转弯呗！
Because that pig can not make a brain twister.
范：又是这个伎俩。那既然这样的话，我也咨询你一个问题。
You use this trick again,. OK, I also want to ask you a question.
赵：你说。
Say it.
范：过年了，我们家什么年货也没买，就剩下一头猪和一头驴。你说我是先杀猪呢，还是先杀驴呢？
It's spring festival, I bought nothing in my house, but I have one pig and one donkey. Please giv