文档介绍：Speaking of Operations
Speaking of Operations
by Irvin S. Cobb
Respectfully dedicated to two classes:
Those who have already been operated on Those who have not yet
been operated on
1
Speaking of Operations
Now that the last belated bill for services professionally rendered has
been properly paid and properly receipted; now that the memory of the
event, like the mark of the stitches, has faded out from a vivid red to a
ing pink shade; now that I pass a display of adhesive tape in a drug-
store window without flinching--I sit me down to write a little piece about
a certain matter--a small thing, but mine own--to wit, That Operation.
For years I have noticed that persons who underwent pruning or
remodeling at the hands of a duly qualified surgeon, and survived, like to
talk about it afterward. In the event of their not surviving I have no
doubt they still liked to talk about it, but in a different locality. Of all the
readily available topics for use, whether among friends or among strangers,
an operation seems to be the handiest and most dependable. It beats the
Tariff, or Roosevelt, or Bryan, or when this war is going to end, if ever, if
you are a man talking to other men; and it is more exciting even than the
question of how Mrs. Vernon Castle will wear her hair this season, if you
are a woman talking to other women.
For panies a whale is one of the best and the easiest things
to talk about that I know of. In regard to whales and their peculiarities
you can make almost any assertion without fear of essful
contradiction. Nobody ever knows any more about them than you do.
You are not hampered by facts. If someone mentions the blubber of the
whale and you chime in and say it may be noticed for miles on a still day
when the large but emotional creature has been moved to tears by some
great ing into its life, everybody is bound to accept the
statement. For after all how few among us really know whether a
distressed whale sobs alo