文档介绍：建议书作文评语
作者：耿海娟
假设你是李华，你的朋友Jenny向你询问如何保持健康。请你给她发一封邮件提些建议，开头己经为你写好。邮件内容要点如下：
注意合理饮食，多吃鱼、肉、蛋、豆类等，特别要注意多吃新鲜的蔬菜和水果，不要吃太多甜食。
注意锻炼身体，要劳逸结合，多参加体育活动。
保证充足的睡眠，不要熬夜，每天至少睡8个小时。
要求：：150字左右；
语句通顺，要点齐全；
可适当增加细节，使行文连贯。
Dear Jenny,
How nice to hear from you! In your letter you asked me how to keep healthy.
学生作文：
How nice to hear from you! In your letter you asked me how to keep healthy. Now. I will give you some advice. Frist, notice the diet, to eat much fish, flesh and bean, pay more attention to eat fresh vegetables and fruits. Don' t eat too much dessert. Second, do more exercise can make your bodies stronger. Join some PE activities is good for relief ourselves. Third, make sure have eight sleep time
every day. Don' t stay up late or you will feel sleepy. So, follow what I say and you will keep healthy.
I hope to hear from you soon.
Li Hua
［教师点评］
这篇作文基本能覆盖了要点内容，作者也努力使用了高一阶段所学过的高级词汇和短语，甚至名词性从句，这一点值得鼓励。但同时，语法结构或词汇运用方面出现不少错误，语句间缺少连接成分，使得全文结构比较松散，逻辑性不强。
教师修改：
一、语言运用错误
粗心引起的单词拼写错误
frist 改成 f irst o
人称不一致
这是建议信，对象应该是你，故用第二人称，所以 ourselves 应改成 yourselves。
单词词性不清楚
relief ourselves
relief是名词，应该改成动词relieving
ourselves
短语的用法掌握不到位
pay attention to eat fresh vegetables and fruits
pay attention to sth. / doing sth., 需改成 pay attention to eating fresh vegetables and fruits
join some PE activities is good for relief ourselves
join 一般指加入正式的组织、团体;参加活动take part in; 需改成：take part in PE activites be good
to do ；而有助于干某事，可以用help do sth. 需改成：help relieve ourselves
make sure have eight sleep time every day make sure of sth. ; make sure + 从句需改成：make
sure that you sleep for eight hours
句子语法错误
do more exercise can make your bodies stronger
join some PE activities is good for relief ourselves
动词做主语时，用动名词或不定式
需改成：
Doing more exercise can make your bodies stronger.
Taking part in PE activities helps you relieve yourselves.
二、逐句翻译，句不成文
notice the diet, to eat much fish, flesh and bean, pay more attention to eat fresh vegetables and fruits. 按照