文档介绍：MANAGEABLE TONGUE TWISTERS.
BY JESSE EISENBERG - - -
[Originally published November 30, 2009.]- - - -
Peter Johnson selected a group of jarred spices.
If Peter Johnson selected a group of jarred spices,
How many jarred spices did Peter Johnson select?
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How much lumber could a woodchuck discard 
If a woodchuck could discard lumber?
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Sally peddles fish exoskeletons down by the beach.
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Fuzzy Wuzzy had been a bear.
But he was bald.
So, if this was the case,
He couldn’t have been very fuzzy, right?
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Moses thinks his phalanges are perennials.
But Moses is wrong.
For no one’s phalanges are perennials, 
Like Moses thinks his phalanges are.
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One smart fellow,
he thought he was deserved of this title.
Two smart fellows,
they also thought they were deserved of this title.
Three smart fellows,
they all thought they were deserved of this
collective designation.
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Red and yellow leather.
New York is different.
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Elizabeth Botter paid money for margarine.
But the margarine
for which Elizabeth Botter paid was tart.
So Elizabeth Botter 
paid money for some superior margarine,
and it made Elizabeth Botter’s 
once-tart mixture good.
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My mother coerced me to destroy my Mars brand chocolate candies.
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James bifurcated corn,
Although I don’t really give a shit.
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I scream. 
Then you join me.
Pretty soon we all find ourselves 
Shouting praises for frozen custard.
MARXIST-SOCIALISTS JOKES.
BY JESSE EISENBERG
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[Originally published February 24, 2010.]
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Why did the Marxist-Socialist cross the road?
To get to the Marxist-Socialist sit-in on the other side of the road.
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How many Marxist-Socialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two. One to screw in the light bulb, one to lament Milton Friedman’s laissez-faire economic policies.
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A Marxist-Socialist walks into a bar and asks the bartender if he’s unionized.
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Knock knock.
Who’s there?
A Marxist-Socialist.
A