雅思作文批改范例.pdf

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SampleEssay
EditedandGradedby

IELTSWritingTask2
Somepeoplethinkthattheirchildren’slives

reasonsandyourownexperienceand
examples.
OverthelastThepastfifty50years,the批注[7writing1]:Overindicates

betterchoicethanpast.
developmentoftechnologyandtheeconomy批注[7writing2]:Numbersthatcan
bewritteninoneortwowordsare
hasenhancedpeople’
form.
WemayfindtThedifferencesbetweenthe批注[7writing3]:Pluralpeople=
plurallivesandnotasingularlife.
批注[7writing4]:UsingWemayfind
.
批注[7writing5]:Thereisalsomore
(*
setsoflives.
needstobesomethingbetweenthetwoSincethesubjectnoundifferencesis
plural,theverbmustbeareratherthan
is.
://
://
sentencestotiethemtogethersothatone
flowstotheother.)批注[7writing6]:AvoidtheuseofIt

conditionswerenotharshfor
everybody,sothefactisdeniable.
ItisanundeniablefactthattTheliving批注[7writing7]:Therewasmore
thanoneconditioninthelastcentury.
Alsobycorrectingthenoun,theverb
conditionsinlastcenturycomparedtowaschangestowere.

nowadays’
thesentence,itisclearthatyoumean
theywereharsherthantheconditions
,now.
批注[7writing8]:Thesemi-colonand
atmyhomeweownedanine-
sentencescanbejoinedtogetherbya
commafollowedbythewordand.
whiteTVset;besides,andonlytwoTVBesideswouldimplythatyouwere
talkingaboutsomethingdifferentthan
.
Thedeletedtextisredundantbecause
youhavealreadysaidwhenyouwerea
Althoughitseemsunimpressiveterribleinthelittlegirl.
批注[7writing9]:Unimpressive,odd
eyesnow,inShanghaiduringtheearly1980’sorunbelievablewouldbebetter.
Terribleisquiteharsh.
Also,youneedtomakethereference
Shanghai,itwasthemostfashionablemachinetotheearly1980s,andacomma
alwaysfollowstheyear.
[7writing10]:Notneededand

summernights,myfatherwasalwaysrequireddangerofusingidiomsasanew
.
批注[7writing11]:Betterword
tomovetheTVsettoourbackyardinthechoiceswouldbefashionable,
advanced,oritwastheonlymachine.
summernights,andovertenmaleneighbours批注[7writing12]:Writethetime
periodtobeatthebeginningsothe
readerispreparedforwhatfollows.
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://
crowdedtheretowatchfootballmatches.
批注[7writing13]:Beeninfashionis

However,havingaTVsetishasnolongeranthatwouldbecorrectarenolongeran
oddity;nolongerunique;nolonger
special;isreallynolongeranoption.
,aAnThereareseveralphrasessuchasthose

increasingnumberofpeople,thesedays,canreallydoesnotinplainEnglish.
批注[7writing14]:Tomakethismore

ratherthanthesedays.
批注[7writing15]:Youdonotneedto
SincetheInternethasbeenbecomeaddatpresentbecauseyouhavesaid

widespreadappliedinaroundtheworld,atimpliesitiswidespreadnow.
批注[7writing16]:Yourpointis
present,netizensmayprefertowatchmoviesconfusedbyaddingsittinginasofa.
Forexample,IwatchInternetshows
frommysofausingAppleTV.
onlineratherthansittinginasofawaitingfor批注[7writing17]:Inthissentence,
twodefinitearticlesareneeded,the.
,Also,multipleusers=multiple
computers.
computersandtheInternetalsoenabletheir批注[7writing18]:Bywritingthe
sentenceinthismannerandchanging
meanwhiletowhile,nocommais

MSNmessenger,butmessageiswhat
.
批注[7writing19]:Oncemore,
besidesisnotinanoppositereference,
songsmeanwhile,whileuseingMSNsoyouwouldnotbeginasentence
followingtheoneyoujustwroteusing
.
Alsoisawordthatisinagreement
withthesentenceyoujustwrote,soit
canalsoandbeside,downloadAmericanwouldbeappropriatehere.
Thisisarun-
goingtocorrectit.
://
://
sitcomsfromapublicresourcesharedwebsite.
Definitely,thislifestylewascompletelytotally批注[7writing20]:Completelywould

actuallyusedmuchasAmericanslang
outofmyparents’
andcarriedoverintothegeneral
:Thatshirtyougotat
themallistotallyawesome.-or–Iam
totallygoingtocallthatgirllikenow.
Inconclusion,IwouldliketosaythatitisLikeisalsoaslangtermusedbyso
manypeopleitisscary,likereallyalot
.
worldwillbelike;however,Iamsurethatthe
worldforthenextgeneration,however,Iam
[7writing21]:
Hereyouarespeakinginthefuture
tense,sowillistheproperverb.
Simplifysentences.
GotothenextpagetoseeEvaluationReport.
://
://
EvaluationReport
5-
EstimatedBand
Therearesomewordchoicesthat
Comment:
areincorrect,andsomethatare
technicallycorrectbutwouldrarely

articlesareomitted,mostnotably

deletedareincluded,usuallyset


only:currentlytodayor3:00pmin

makesense,however,andthewriter

.
Bestofluck:-))
GotothenextpagetoseeFAQs.
欧美外教精品雅思作文批改:
://
://
7WRITING作文批改常见问题
?
5-;
4、;
4分以下(不包括4分)作文老师不修改。
7writing的写作老师会对每一篇雅思作文进行细致修改。一般情况下,实力在5~
作,;4~。
7writing的写作老师以负责任的态度对待每一篇学生作文,如果老师经过初步判断认为****作水平
达不到4分,老师不会对该写作进行修改,否则就是浪费学生的金钱和老师的时间。
7writing的写作老师强调通过实战练****发现在英语写作中的短板,然后有针对性弥补。
?
7writing的写作老师是严格按照雅思官方标准评分的,与真实考试成绩的评分浮动幅度不会超过
。
需要说明的是,一般情况下大作文按A类标准打分,所以G类考生的大作文在真正考试时可能会
。
?练****量达到多少合适?
对于广大中国考生来说,需要一定量的写作练****才能有效提高雅思写作成绩。所以我们建议您在
初步确定参加雅思考试后,越早开始练****越好。
以我们长年积累的经验来看,每周至少保持一到两套的练****量,开考前两个月开始每周三套比较
合适,练****内容应尽量覆盖所有题型及话题类别。
?
当然可以!7writing强调有针对性地学****与老师互动是必要的学****环节。您可以用英语写下用
词、句式或者论述的疑问并用括号标示出来;如果对老师的修改有疑问,可以单独发过来或者在
下一篇文章中提出,老师都会一一解答。
?
一般情况下2-3个工作日内可以得到回复,收稿截止时间为每天的北京时间晚十点,所以请尽量
在此时间之前将作文发过来,我们在收到文章后会及时以邮件形式确认。
7writing写作老师是按照收到文章的时间顺序进行修改的,如果您马上就要参加考试,需要加急,
请在邮件中注明考试日期,我们会尽量安排提前回复。如果遇到考试高峰期,不能及时回复,我
们会提前通过邮件和您确认。
?
您可以根据自己情况有针对性地选题,也可以参考我们的最新雅思写作预测题目。
?
剑桥雅思中的A类小作文不需要发送图表,但是请注明是第几套的第几题,以便我们查询,其它
题目请尽量把图表一起发送过来。
://
://

、美国本土老师。是具有ESL资质,Master
以上学历,具有多年雅思、托福、GRE、SAT等写作教学经验的专职一线写作老师。
老师的专业背景覆盖英语文学、教育学、社会学、心理学、哲学、法学、工程学等领域。

①根据自身情况选择相应的作文篇数,点击购买并付款。我们在收到款项后会为您建立专属的个
人帐户(包括支付宝帐户、姓名、常用邮箱、联系电话、QQ/MSN、购买篇数、已用篇数、剩余
篇数等)。
②将写好的文章(请使用WORD文档)以附件的形式发送到邮箱******@,请在邮
箱中注明您的支付宝帐户以及文章类型。
③2-3个工作日内您会收到回复邮件,请将修改好的文章下载到电脑上查看,不要使用在线预览
功能,因为此功能无法看到老师所做的详细标注。
④如果考试结束后您想退回剩余款项,请发送邮件到******@,我们会为您结清帐
户上的款项,退还未使用金额。
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