文档介绍：PERSONAL STATEMENT
Yan Zhihong
本文经修改后,作者的学习目的和选择学校的原因显得很清晰、明确,十分令人信服。对比原作者提供的中文稿和专家的修改稿,读者可以清楚地看出中英文写作的区别。
A graduate from the Harbin Institute of Technologies, an institution of higher learning known for its selectivity, I have solidly grounded myself in a discipline that is still new in China, namely, mechatronics. With four years of strict training and conscientious studies behind, I am now versed in a broad range of subjects related to this discipline. But I would like to pursue more advanced studies in it. I now apply for acceptance into your Master' program for the sole reason that your program is one of the few that offer graduate studies in mechatronics.(一般而言,开头并不是一定要依时间顺序介绍自己的童年。扼要的阐明自己目前的情况和学习的愿望往往更好。)
I first became fascinated with making electronic devices in high school. Until then, I was content with making mechanical gadgets, from which I derived immense pleasure. As a child, I made my own toy gliders and vacuum cleaners. In making such things, I instinctively grasped the principles of aeromechanics. After I entered into junior high school, I began to make small electronic appliances by using electrical circuit boards. As I experimented for new inventions, I felt more and more constrained by the limited approaches. I yearned to make really user-friendly gadgets and devices that could be readily accepted on the market.
At the university, I chose mechatronics